Disordered Eating

When 75-100% of your total food consumption is raw food, you are a considered a raw foodist. A raw foods diet includes fruits, vegetables, greens, nuts, seeds and sprouts. Some raw foodists eat raw dairy, eggs and meat. I am not planning on practicing that form of raw foodism and am not sure about raw veganism at this point either.
I am currently working on developing my natural beauty regimen. I am increasing the amount of raw foods in my diet, reducing the amount of cooked food in my diet and avoiding animal flesh. At this point I can't say where I'll be heading with the dairy, eggs, processed carbohydrates situation. I remember that eating at 100% meant I spent around $1,000 monthly at the grocery stores. That's not feasible at this point in life so right now I will be working on finding the happy medium where my body and bank account can both be happy.
One of the catalysts for this change is the fact that working out hard 6 days a week from the jump was a huge mistake. I injured my shoulder - bursitis- and haven't been able to work out for the past week. I am currently on steroid treatment, hoping for a speedy recovery. The injury opened my eyes to the fact that I must exercise more control over what goes into my mouth because I can't count on burning it off to maintain my weight much less removing pounds.
The second key to spark change was a happy hour with my girlfriend. We went to this relatively new restaurant in a nice part of town where they have half off appetizers and really discounted drinks during happy hour. I have issues with food. We shared 6 appetizers between the two of us and two desserts. I was so ill on the way home that I collapsed on a neighbors front lawn retching. Sorry neighbor! I was so disgusted with myself. People are starving in parts of the world, including my own backyard and my idea of a good time on a Friday night is to gorge myself on food until I'm ill. Ridiculous!
You could say I had an epiphiny Friday night. I hit an all time low. I was on the phone crying about the pain in my stomach, unsure if I could make the 30 minute walk home. I actually considered calling a taxi. I have walked that stretch hundreds of time without issue and yet here I was thinking how badly my stomach hurt and my shoulder and my knee. I wondered how I had gotten to this new low. Pain is a fact of life when you are 50+ pounds overweight. The answer was staring me in the face. Literally. I suffer from an eating disorder. Disordered eating is a struggle of mine and it's really not just about the weight. The more time goes by, I realize there is something very wrong with the way we view food in this country. I'm not alone in this. I hope that one day, the millions of people eating themselves to death will wake up. It's my goal to change that, one person at a time, starting with me. Thanks for reading!